Why Should I Trust?
by edwinelric
Summary: Life has taught Sarah that men are pigs. They steal what they desire, not caring about the consequences to themselves and those around them. Why would he be any different?
1. Chapter 1

****January 12, 1903****

 ** **Location: Elric Household, Risembool****

 ** **Age: 10****

Sarah… That's my name… such a weak name…

 **"** A weak name for a weak girl…." It's what my father, Hohenheim, said the day he left… taking his anger and psychotic abuse with day, I'd hoped things might get better…. Mom would stop crying, I would no longer be someone's personal sex toy, Al and Ed wouldn't have to grow up knowing their father as a monster. I should have known, hope is useless.

 ** **October 15, 1905****

 ** **Location: Elric Household, Risembool****

 ** **Age: 13****

"Alphonse? Edward?" I call out to the sleeping five and six year old. I slip through the entrance, leaving the door cracked open. Alphonse grunts and Edward continues to snore as I gently shake them.

"Al… Ed," Nothing was working, so I retrieve two cups of ice water. Then proceed to pour it onto the beds. Al's golden brown head jolts up and rubs his eyes . Edward, on the other hand, sputters and flails. They both look up, sleepiness scrunching their tiny faces.

"Why can't we have five more minutes, please?" Al pleads, but I laugh and shake my head.

"Sorry," placing a gentle hand on Al's soaked hair," last time I did, your mother wouldn't stop lecturing me." Alphonse didn't push it. He and Edward knew good and well what Mrs. Elric's lectures were like.

"Alphonse, Edward, are you up yet?" Mrs. Elric calls as she pushes the bedroom door completely open. She walks further in before noticing my presence. "Oh, Sarah I didn't know you had come to wake them already."

"Yes mam, shall I stay and make sure they stay up?" I ask, slightly bowing. Not even smiling.

"No, you may go." I bow again and take my leave of the room to make breakfast. After saying goodbye to my brothers before they walked to school, I put on a white apron over my dress and I started doing morning dishes. Halfway through Mrs. Elric joined and started rinsing and drying.

It was such a normal day, one which could have easily been forgotten. I went through the usual routine of cleaning with Mrs. Elric. Which meant sweeping, dusting, doing laundry and starting dinner. However, on this particular day, I had to fix Hohenheim's study. Edward and AL had finally discovered alchemy and frequently made messes of the room. Books were never in their proper order nor were any other supplies they used. So, it had been up to me to return them into place. As I correctly arranged the books, a particular one caught my eye. There was no title on the red binding and it looked brand new. It was quite unusual for a library filled with years of research. What's more, upon further studying I notice several others around the office and on the top shelf. Out of reach and sight of most children, but not for an adult or someone with a keen eye. I slowly remove the book from the shelf and open ii. A date was written on the inner corner of the front binding. It was only a year before Hohenheim left. I check for a title, flipping a couple pages inward and almost dropping the book.

'Alchemic Mental Alterations Research'

Why had the bastard figured he could change a person's memories? How far had this research gone. _Did he experiment on anyone? Did_ he... I felt the pressure of panic rise… _did he experiment on Trisha or Ed and Al? Or even me? Had he removed memories of something worse than years of sexual torment?_

I had to dig through the other books before realizing the experiments never went pass animal trials. There was some relief in knowing our memories weren't altered. However,with the relief came understanding. I did not want Ed and Al to find this. Knowledge like this? I may have been only thirteen, but I knew it couldn't bring anything good. However, I also realized the bastard had actually given me, unintentionally I'm sure, a chance to leave. If I could just figure out why he never made it past the animal trials….

I took my time cleaning the study and made sure every last of the memory research books were placed into a bag. I took the books to my room in the attic. Studying would have to wait.

 _Even though I was only 13, I knew I did not want this life. To stay there as a servant to my own family. It was a life without a happy ending. Mrs. Elric said I was free to leave and never return. But, despite given the freedom I yearned for; my soul was still bound to the Elric house and the town of Risembool. As months went by, I bide my time, waiting until the opportunity presented itself. As my plan slowly came together, I once again had hope,of another chance. A new life, a new freedom._

 _However when the day of leaving my hometown arrived; my world fell apart, and Hell's jaw opened and swallowed me whole…._


	2. Chapter 2

**1910**

 **Location: Ishval**

 **Age: 17/ 18**

The night sky is ablaze with fire and gunshots.. Ishvalans are screaming in terror as the lights of transmutations go off in the distance. While soldiers shout out where to go or who to kill; I pick my way through the sandy ground, littered with corpses . Both shadows of the Ishvalans and soldiers dance along the city walls. Children's cries echo through the fallen walls…. or are they screaming? I can't tell anymore.

I run for my life through the fallen desert city. Only a thin-short dress covers my scarred body. My two golden, bloodshot eyes tear as smoke and matted blonde hair fly into my face.  
My body is only running on adrenaline and fear as I trip over a burned corpse. Feeling the sting on my hands and bare feet, I somehow manage to keep moving forward. Each breath becoming more desperate than the last.

I turn around to see if I'm being followed and see him, the monster my bastard 'father' sold my body to. He's standing on the second floor of a partially destroyed building. Scanning for me in his filthy amestris uniform. A front, to blend in with the war zone. He starts to turn in my direction as I dash behind a corner. I peek my head around the broken stone.. He is no longer in the building, but on the ground heading in my direction. Panicking, I crawl along the wall, straight towards an Ishvalan massacre...  
I barely dodge the flame appearing from nowhere, killing two Ishvalan men. A woman screams a name, but is soon consumed within the fire. I turn away from the heat that was so intense only ashes remained. Still being followed, I turn left and run. I glance over my shoulder one last time before slamming into a rough blue fabric.

I jerk away from the person, feeling two gloved hands grab my trembling wrists. My wide golden eyes look to face of the person who has stopped me. I'm startled to see a soldier's face maybe five years older. His coal black hair, covered in sweat and ash,was cut in a short military style. His black orbs once set with a sharp stare, now shocked to see an Amestrian civilian in a war zone.

I try to pull away before he could see the branding on my shoulder, marking me as a tries to coherently talk me out of struggling. Iron grip not loosening until I kick the soldier's shin and yank away.

"Wait!" His deep voice calls out, but I continue running. Managing to slip into an alleyway before my former...master... appeared in the shambled area. Arguing voices and transmutations fade as I turn a corner, dashing into an ally before a group of Ishvalan rebels run by. Wandering around Ishval, with no direction is asking to get caught.. There has to be a better way out of this city.

The alley, more like a side street, lead to a quieter part of the war zone. It could lead to a trap or freedom. Not having a better option, I follow the alley to its end. Keeping a hand on the wall as I it twist and turns. At the final turn is an open square cleared of rubble. There were medbay tents crammed with soldiers. Through one of the open flaps I could see doctors dashing through their assigned areas, tending to the wounded men and women. Beyond the medbay tents were the barracks and command tents. Just beyond ? Open desert. I wanted to run for it, but I knew better. Instead I stayed hidden and observe.

Guards walk in groups of two. It was timed so well, when one group reaches a corner the next is around the other. As the guards, continued their patrol, I notice a small gap between the rows of medbay tents on the edge of the military camp. It was enough to slip through unseen, but I couldn't tell how far it would lead. There was a sixty yard dash between me and said gap. With so big of a run it was more than likely, snipers were on guard to. A scantily clad,filthy, and pale girl with white blonde hair would stick out more than blood in snow. Even if by some impossible miracle I managed to get to it unseen. I had no idea what lay beyond the gap. My options so far were to stay in the alley and risk " master" finding me. Or, run like hell to the gap. Both are a high a risk of being seen, caught, and thrown back into the hell hole I escaped. I peek my head around the corner of the alley, there had to be a better way.

My eyes search along the square's surrounding buildings, most were boarded. The ones that weren't resemble more like piles of rubble than buildings. Up above a building has boards connecting to an abandoned shop beside it. From what I can see it was like that for several buildings around the square. Placed in such away , upon first glance one would miss them. An entrance to a rubble building is maybe twenty feet from my alleyway. The building's shadows in the sunset would conceal most of my movements from any one above inside it and I could slowly make my way across each the building, I wait for the next group of soldiers to walk by. With only a few second window to make the run, I prayed my body could take it.

The soldiers round the corner, keeping their steady pace. As their backs slowly come into view I dash out of the alley, back pressed to the wall. Before I can reach the door some one shouts; "Hey you!" I freeze, a foolish mistake. The soldier was upon me before I could start to run again. It was the soldier from earlier. He probably saw me slip through the alley. I turn sharply, glaring at him. To add to the problem, his shout had caught the attention of the next group of guards.

"Mustang, what's going on?" One asked, making his way man had the beginnings to a beard and half framed glasses. Mustang paused, turning to the guard who spoke. While there wa a temporary distraction, I start to step back to the door.

"I found a civilian while completing my assignment." He gestured towards me. When both guard followed Mustang's gesture their eyes widened. I froze again as one just stared. "Do you know where she could have come from?" The scruffy guard asked, breaking the stare of the other, giving allowing more time to reach the door. I slip into the shadow of the building.

"How am I supposed to know Hughes." Mustang's voice was sharp, his hands flailed at the scruffy soldier. Hughes let out a breathe as I finally reach the door and turn to find my way upstairs. " We have to get back to our post.' He jabbed the man beside him. "What are you- Hey wait!" Hughes called out as I disappeared into the building. I heard Mustang shout a slew of curses before my bare feet hit the ladder. Quickly making my way through the building I found most of the cross way boards easily. It was easy to scurry through the shadows, in and out of buildings. Though I had left him behind. I knew I hadn't lost Mustang, not by a long shot. I desperately make my way through what I think is the final building. Unlike the others, this one is still mostly together. That means I have no light coming in. I shuffle through the darkness with only a wall for a guide, searching for anything leading out, being careful where I move my feet. My hand reaches emptiness as a bottle rolls over and wood creaks downstairs. I freeze and wait, trying to hear beyond the distant sounds of war.

Soft scratches and squeaks of rats scurrying brings relief. I slowly squat down to to the floor, feeling for the ledge. Finding it, I crawl and follow it to the end. My hand hits the metal of the ladder. As I grab the top ring and slowly pull myself up; I hear the soft thud of military boots cross the planks into the building. Hastily, I make my way down the ladder. The bright glare of a lantern lights up the second floor as my feet hit the floor. The lantern is so bright , I make my way around broken glass and furniture with little problem. Reaching the shambled stone doorway, I look to see where to go. Right across the square is an alley which could lead away from the camp and into the desert. So eager to be free, I neglect to notice the sound of fast approaching footsteps as I start to run towards the gap. A strong hand grabs my arm and yanks me back into the building.

"What are you doing? This is a war zone." A female voice demands. Her grips tightens on my arm as soldier Mustang climbs down the ladder, not out of breathe this time. "Why is she here?" The demand turns to him. I tried to run at her momentary distraction. She gripped my arm even tighter. Turning to see, my captor a woman with short blonde hair.

"No idea." Was his gruff reply. "I'm taking her to headquarters, until it's decided what to do." He took my arm, but the woman stopped him.

"You aren't taking her, not with her wearing so little clothing." The woman took her coat off, a simple, tan jacket, and placed it on my shoulders. Mustang released my arm giving me a moment to put it on securely. Only glaring at the two as way of thanks. Both waited tensely, expecting for me to make a run for it. Once the jacket was on, I paused, hoping to catch them off guard….. It didn't drop… As Mustang went to resume his hold of my arm, I decided to still try. Ducking around the woman, I dash for the door only to be yanked back by the hood of the jacket.

"Eager to run?" Mustang asked resuming the hold on my arm even with me struggling. "Are we eager to talk as well?" A hoarse shout of lament left my useless throat as I continue struggling. Kicking him and doing my best to harm him. The soldier managed to keep my limbs from hitting him;and with a kick to the back of my legs, sent me to my knees. Hitting the concrete, coupled with several hours of running through Ishval, left me weaker than those three years of hell. I couldn't escape them. Even if I somehow did, they would quickly catch me again.

As if sensing the hopelessness of this situation, what little energy I retained, left in one fell swoop. Leaving this body exhausted and breathless. I fight the hot tears threaten to spring as I try to catch my breath. I just wanted to be free…. The two soldiers waited patiently as my breathing returned to normal

"Are you sure you can handle her?" The woman eyed suspiciously. "She might try to escape again.

"Yeah." He hoist me upright and lead us towards the camp.


	3. Chapter 3

After finding another soldier to watch, Mustang left to give a report.

This new soldier towers over everyone. His shirtless torso is covered in ripped muscles. He has more abs than I thought was humanly possible. With a thick blonde moustache covered of his mouth and bald head making his hard stare forward even more intimidating. However, there is small tuft of blonde hair curling out on his forehead, giving him a more childish look. I had even tried to run escape from him only to be picked up and set right back down.

Minutes of awkward silence passed before Mustang walked out of a tent. He thanked the soldier, Armstrong, and leads me towards the tent he'd exited. I almost fell trying to keep up with his brisk pace. His grip on my arm the only thing keeping my useless body upright. Inside, are two men. One studying a map, while the other stood on the opposite.

"General Fessler, this is the civilian found wandering just within the region." Mustang released my arm and saluted as the man stood and turned. He saw me and began glaring with his beady eyes. He took quick, sharp steps towards me. Standing only a foot from me, looking down.

"So you were caught sneaking around our camp? He waits with a haughty smile. I say nothing and only return his glare. He leans forward, keeping his eyes locked with mine. I resist the instinct to step back and cower.

"What were you planning on doing?" He grins like a cat. He thinks he's caught his prey. It's a disgusting look I'm all too familiar with. I take slow, subtle deep breathes.

His face slowly starts turning red the longer he waits. Suddenly, I see the back of a hand before being thrown to the ground. I barely sit up to resume glaring when Fesseler yanks the jacket and thrust his face into mine. My heartbeat racing as I try to back away, but struggling only tighten his grip.

"Were you planning on sabotaging my campaign,huh? Or maybe you're just a spy sent here to find out how much of the region," he growls through gritted teeth. He starts to violently shake me. I panic, going limp and hope he would stop. Pretending to faint made him angrier and his shaking more violent. He had started shouting profanities when the two men quickly grab Fesseler and pull him away. Sand scratches my face as fall onto the cooling stone. When Fessler had calmed down they released him. Although, I remained under the pretense of unconsciousness.

"Sir, she is clearly just a civilian who was found running for her life in a war zone." The other soldier stated. There is a soft thud as he stood at attention.

"I don't care she is a civilian. I want to know why she's here." Fesseller slammed his fist on the table. The metal pieces rattled against it. "When she decides to wake up take her to Dr. Marco. If he can't get an answer out of her, then he can use her in his research." The pound of his angry footsteps grows quiet as he leaves the tent. A rustle of fabric is heard as the other soldier steps out to follow. I hear a pause in his movements.

"Lieutenant Mustang, give the girl a chance to get cleaned. I'm sure she and Dr. Marco would appreciate it." fabric rustled again as the soldier leaves. Mustangs walks over to me, stopping a few feet from my face.

"Well? Are you going to get up or am I going to carry you?" I slowly sit up.

"Glad you didn't actually pass out," He offered his hand and I don't accept. Standing up on my own and dusting myself off. We left the tent and went to a group of smaller tents. He opens the flap to one and it has a single chair with a clean cloth and a bucket filled with water.

"Here, take a minute to wash up. Dr. Marco should be here shortly." I stare at him with distrust for a moment, causing him to sigh. "I will be right out here and I won't enter." With his confirmation, I then enter the tent and quickly set to washing.

Once clean and clothed, I looked around the tent. There wasn't much time till Mustang or the doctor came in. I had to escape fast. With no chalk or sharp object to etch a circle out, I dip a finger into the bucket and quickly set to drawing a circle. I had no intention of telling any information,] nor of becoming apart of any experiments.

The circle is completed and activated. I remove some of the material to use for later, making the rest stretch to leave only a small slit. Then,I slip through and out into the camp. Hiding in between shadows while navigating to the desert. Soldiers snore behind the walls of fabric. One group is playing an intense card game, shouting curses at one another. I dance one final corner before reaching the open running, I rub my slightly swollen stomach. This was going to be a long way back...

 _I ran into the desert hoping to put as much distance between me and Ishval as possible. Without turning around, I could still see the city ablaze with fire, screams, and destruction. Even after it faded into the distance._

 **Hello my loyal reader. I apologize for the long wait! I have edited chapter 1 & 2 and have chapter 4 on it's way. Seriously, it's already written and just needs to be fixed up. Of course that might be a bit. How is everyone? I hope you are having a wonderful day/night. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Warning! Sexual content. Sexual content, mental/physical/sexual torture. Skip the flashback if you don't want to read that kind of stuff.

* * *

 **FlashBacK**  
 **  
December,1906**

 **Location-** _Unknown, possibly underground_

 **Age-** _13/14 years old_

 _I lean my clammy head against the stone wall. They shake as and explosion goes off above ground. Dust falls from the ceiling, making the air, which is saturated with sweat, even harder to breathe. The stench of human waste and blood did nothing to help it either…_

Iron chains keep me leaning forward, painfully gripping into my wrists and ankles. I hadn't slept correctly in days maybe weeks. My throat was burning, begging for water. I couldn't remember the when I last ate, but not ribs had started to show. Exhaustion, hunger, thirst, and fear, had become my best friends and worst enemies.

This is all part of the game. The man who calls himself Master, keeps toys in this room for hours at a time. They're given no sleep, food, fresh air, little water. Just the slave, their chains, and darkness. If someone comes in, it's to show how powerless you are. That submitting and letting them do whatever they want to you is the better and only option. Designed to mentally, physically and spiritually break a person. The toy doesn't leave until they're completely broken. It's how others were made to obey. How he continues to try to make me. It hasn't worked. However, as the days slip by, so does my strength. And he knows it..

For the first time in I don't know how long, the iron door behind me whines open. Heavy footsteps echoed through the small room as Bastardo, an Ishvalan black market trading partner, walks in.

"Ah, Bastardo so nice of you to join me in this gorgeous corner of heaven." Voice sounding like I gargled with sandpaper...

"Oh, if this is heaven Little Sluto," Bastardo kicks my knees, forcing my weight onto my wrist,"Wait till you see hell." The pain was so sharp , I cry of agony. Gritting my teeth, I pull myself back into the position, almost falling again in the process. After a moment watching, Bastardo grins. My lack of verbal response a testament of how weak I've truly become.

"What? No colorful details of how you're going to end me? Maybe you want to comment on my religion? " He slams a hand on the wall, beginning to rake the other down my bruised back and continues. "Maybe you want to talk about on my looks? Or maybe.., He pauses, bring his mouth so close I can smell the alcohol in his breath, "Our little fireball has finally turned to ash?"

Feeling his calloused hands stirred the dying embers of anger, giving me one last ounce of fight.

"Not likely." I whisper before turning hard as I could and biting at whatever I could latch on to. Turns out, I bit his arm. He let out a slurry of curse, grabbing my matted hair and forcing me to let go. Although not before drawing blood.

"You bitch!" His deep voice became high pitched. Gripping his arm, he stormed out of the room and slammed the door, but not before saying through gritted teeth

"You will break. They always do. If this room won't break you, then something else will." The iron door is slammed,resonating through the room like thunder.

 _ **End of flashback**_

* * *

 **Date-** May 5, 1910

 **Location-** Pinajko's House

 **Age-** 18

I jolt up from the bed, covered in sweat. My heart pounds as lightning strike a tree in the distance. A harsh thunder follows . I slide out of the bed, each breathe becoming easier.  
After a few minutes of struggling,the bike in my stomachs wins. I run to the bathroom by my bedroom door. Barely making it to the toilet in time. The door is left open as I retch the remains of the but of dinner that I'd consumed. Somewhere between gasps for air, I hear Winry walk and feel her gently pull my hair back.

An eternity could have passed when I was able flush the remains. I thank Winry and pull myself to the sink, gripping on the porcelain edge. She does her best to hold me up by keeping her arm under mine. My ow legs struggling to support, the swollen, pregnant behemoth Id become.

Winry turns the faucet on and I splash my face, then gargle. The cool water is soothing to the burning in my throat. She studies me for a moment, reminding me of her mother when she tended a patient. Her eyebrow creased, eyes slightly scrunched, and a hand on one hip. She looked so serious, just like a little doctor. Not something most ten year olds can pull off.

"Granny sent me to come check on you. She noticed you went pale when it started raining and thought you might have another nightmare." Her blue eyes glance at the toilet. "Guessing from what just happened, she was right." She met my gaze for a moment, biting her lip. "You should come down stairs, so you can have company. It's not good to be alone after a nightmare." She then turned,without waiting for a response and returned downstairs.

" So you want me come down stairs so Granny can keep an eye on me?" I call out, eyebrows raised. Not responding, Winry continued going down stairs. Leaving me to stand there for a moment before following suit. As I waddle down the stairs after her, I hear pinako.

"I thought you might be up. Sit down on the couch and I'll bring you something to drink." Pinako greeted from the workroom. I did as she said, grabbing the blanket resting on the back. Soon the short woman came in with a glass of water. Winry returned upstairs, probably to prepare for bed.

"It sounded like you lost a lot of fluids in the bathroom. Is your throat okay?" She handed the cup to me, spectacles reflecting the light of a nearby lamp. I wince at the mention of what I'd just went through.

"I didn't think it was that loud…" Pinako shook her grey head before I finished. " Not that loud? Our nearest neighbors called in concern, despite the storm outside." Sighing, I drank the glass of water. We sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the rain pound against the house.

"Have you decided what your going to do when the child is born?" The question was sudden , but not unexpected. Pinako and I had discussed it on and off, but nothing official.

"I'd hoped to live here until I have enough to start living in central. That is, if you'll allow us to." I'd managed to save enough for a train ticket to central and a hotel for a week. The farmers didn't mind paying for help with planting and harvesting. "You know that you can stay a along as you need." Pinako reassured."What about when you get to central?"

"Once I get to central; I will stay for a week or two, find a job, secure a place, and study for the State Alchemist exams." The woman remained quiet for a moment.

"You want to sell your soul to the military?" Pinako looked at me hard through her round spectacles."What if you get called to war? Hm?" I look away from her.

"I know, I know…What will I do if he finds me? What's to happen to my child if I don't return?" I squeezed the glass.

She was right, by joining the military I was putting a lot at risk, but I wanted to further my research more on the effect of alchemy on the mind. If I could alter minds, maybe I could save them as well. That was worth the risk. Pinako knee that there was no way I could have, would have, taken this lightly. Out of every option Id weighed,only one would work.

"Well,' I started,' I'd hoped you would be her godmother. To watch over them when I can't. I understand if you don't. I couldn't expect you to possib-

"Nonsense, your child will be welcomed into this house, just like you were." Pinako stated. A knot of worry melted away.

"Thank you..."

"Don't mention it." Pinako stated. "Since you have a plan,maybe you could explain something else to me." She stood right in front of me, making sure she could see my face. "I've been wondering about it for a while now." I gesture for her to go ahead.

"May I ask what kind of books you took from Ed and Al's home?" Pinako raised her eyebrows. "I noticed when they were here for dinner a few months ago, you slipped through the back and went towards their home. Then you didn't come back till just moments before they left, carrying a bag you didn't leave with." I finish my water, holding the glass in my lap. I don't make eye contact with her.

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice." Still refusing to look at her, I run my thumb on the edge of the glass. Pinako snorted. "It's hard not to notice a six month pregnant girl sneaking in with a bag as close to busting as she is. You also have a stack of books and papers a mile high on your desk and floor in your room, that I certainly didn't put there." Pinako went to the other end of the room to the old oak desk and retrieved her pipe. She stuffed and lit it before continuing. " I may not know a lot about Alchemy, but I know something doesn't come from nothin'. So you got those books from somewhere , And I bet that somewhere wasn't the Risembool Library."

I bit my lip. She was right, I'd taken books from the was books from that Id taken from Hoenhimes library a few years ago along with some on human biology. I'd hidden them successfully in a secret drawer in my old room before I was forced to Ishval.

The biology books were nothing special, just notes on the brain, hormones, memories. A sum of what science has revealed about other books were something Hohenheim was working on before he'd left. One's I had continued, progressing so far with it the I'd even managed to successfully alter the Elric family's memories..

I didn't want to share this with Pinako. There was too much risk for both of us. She'd already took me in after finding me drenched in summer's rain with nothing but a bed sheet wrapped around me. She already knew most of my story, save the more gruesome details. All the way back to livin under Hohenheim's grip. Even though I'd wanted to hide most of it, like now.

"Before you start trying to lie about this, you should know the I found some of your notes on the kitchen table. I may not get the full picture, but I know you're studying alchemy on the mind."

Realizing there was no way to avoid this, I explain the gist of my alchemic research to her. Even explaining wiping Ed, Al, and Trisha's memories of myself. Not mentioning even though the possibility is miniscule, the side effects could kill you.

Pinako remained silent throughout the explanation. When I finished, she sat there, unreadable. Lightning flashed. The silence making the thunder become even more threatening.

"Why did you do it?" Her voice calm, but a fiery wrath was there. "Why erase their memories, those boys clearly cared about you. So why erase the memory of yourself from only ones who seem to love you. In what possible way did it benefit you?" Wrinkled hands gripped the pipe, now resting in her lap.

"I needed a fresh start. I planned on taking a train to one of the borders and crossing. So, in order to disappear with little trace, it was necessary to erase myself. To take their memories. You probably think of me as selfish, but I just wanted to be free for once in my life. " I rest my hand on my swollen stomach. Pinako was still angry. I knew she was probably thought that I'd abandoned them "I wasn't just going to leave them without making sure they would be okay.. I actually planned this carefully, instead of just leaving spur of the moment." Bitterness welled up as I remembered the night when I finally decided It was time to leave. I could only stare down at my stomach.

 _"_ _But as you can see, nothing went as planned.."_

* * *

 **Hello Readers! I'm so sorry for taking so long. Life has been rather busy. I hope you are all enjoying the Holidays!**


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